so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Houston, we have a blender
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize
