So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
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When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
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