I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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