i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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