I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
