oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
