It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize