thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
