Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
