I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i just had sex bonerless
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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