they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Randomize
