So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize