I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
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He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
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I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
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