We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
she smelled like a LAN party
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
