im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
