I'm jealous of your bromance
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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