wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
