rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Randomize
