the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize