ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
