me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
