Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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