I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
