You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
it was like eating out sand paper
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize
