im about as happy as oj after his trial
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
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