dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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