Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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