we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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