Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Randomize