I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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