I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
