As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
is wine microwaveable?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
