yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
