so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
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Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
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And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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