When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
