When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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