At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Do you have feelings for this penis?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
