i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
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