Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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