Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Be still, my beating vagina.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize