Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Randomize
