i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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