We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
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