I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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