It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
