please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
