I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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