Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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