she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
