I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Randomize
