before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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