I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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