Welp...herpes.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
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