I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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