hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
